keys to the ivy league

but why?
why does everyone feel like they need someone else?
why does everyone want to fall in love?
why does it feel like it's so necessary in our lives?
why does everything we do somehow relate to a potential partner?
why does our society revolve around relationships?
it's so easy to explain it away using human evolutionary biology.
OF COURSE our lives revolve around finding partners.
it's all about reproduction. 
mating.
survival of the fittest.
continuing the species.
creating offspring that will produce offspring of their own.

but then...
what's the point of love?
i want so desperately to believe that there's more than just simple evolutionary genetics behind the things we do, the way we feel, the magic of loving and feeling loved. 
there has to be more to it than just simply pairing up and producing fit offspring. 
right?

i guess that's how religion is too.
it's the same debate.
science, evolution vs. belief in something more. something not so concrete. something indescribable, unexplainable. pure gut feeling. the fact that every particle of your body is screaming that there's more to it, there has to be.

do i believe in god?
ask me on any other day, and i would say no. i don't think i believe in god.
today, i will say that i don't know. 
because honestly, that's the truth.
i don't know.
and you don't know. 
we're all in the dark with this one. 
most of us lean towards the only source of illumination, much like a moth to a flame.
our flame is the study of evolution, of creation, of particles and matter. 
but just like in my heart,
not the anatomical one keeping me alive, 
but the heart, the soul, (yes, i think i do believe in a soul)
just like i know there is something more than just our inborn desire to procreate,
i can't help but listen to my self, my spirit,
and hear that there is something more. 
something greater than us, something beyond our reach, something that explains both the order and the chaos,
it may be a god, it may be an algorithm, it may be some entity that our minds cannot even begin to fathom,
but i feel it.
i want to believe that our essences, the world's essences and secrets, cannot all be explained away by science. that there is still part of us that will remain mysterious and powerful, and without that part, we would not be the same. 
i want to believe it, because that's what my heart tells me to believe. 

if you ask me tomorrow whether or not i believe in god,
i will still say no, i don't think i do.
i am a woman of science, 
i follow the scientific method,
i like tangible evidence.
so far, science has given me that. god has not. 
however, if you ask me whether or not i believe there exists a power, a greater entity, whether it be god or some other "thing" for lack of a better word, one we cannot describe, other than the fact that it is the force behind creation, behind what makes us human, what life is? 
then i shall reply yes.
if you ask me why,
i will tell you to look within.
ask yourself,
what is your body telling you?
because that's what my soul tells me.
why do i believe there is more to us that cannot be explained through science?
well, because i believe in love, and my soul tells me so.