keys to the ivy league

this is the last time that i will ever write about you, BLANK, because i am tired of sounding pathetic and desperate. you threw away everything we had for a high school girl? i guess you never did grow up. i was so serious about you. i thought we'd be texting each other and talking every night for years to come. when i thought of my next few days, or few months, or few years, it was you that was always somewhere in my plans, in my future. now, what am i left with, but holes? i don't understand how i'm supposed to retrospectively believe that you meant anything you ever said or promised to me if you can so simply, so easily renounce me. perhaps you never did actually "love" me; perhaps it was nothing more than a misguided and mistaken form of "lust". after all, your affections are the ones that waned, so easily, if i might add, and you've already found what you'd like to be my replacement. i've said it before, but you always seem to find a way to make me feel like a piece of meat...worthless. you make me feel so worthless. so, i hope you enjoy your valentine's day with her. and when my personalized valentine's day gift arrives (which it is already on its way to your house), i want you to open it and remember what we had. remember how you wanted a life with me, with a house, and a kitty. think of what we could have been. what was the percentage again? well guess what, we're no longer part of the minority anymore. we failed to beat to beat the odds. you gave up. remember how you wanted to propose to me. how you "weren't scared to think about the future." how you promised me you wouldn't forget about me and go off with another girl. and you know what? i want your memories and your thoughts to hurt. i want them to pierce you, scorch you. i want you to be feeling the repercussions every time that you think of me. because you've hurt me tremendously, more than i have ever been hurt or damaged before in my life, and i don't think that any pain you may feel would even compare in the slightest to how i've felt these past few days. just know that she will never be half the girlfriend i was for you. i'm starting to think people were right when they said that i was too good for you. according to you, i was the best thing that's ever happened to you. well, you just lost me and this time, i'm not coming back. this is the end. i was the best you will ever have and i hope with "every fiber of my being" that you regret discarding me like a used tissue, making me feel both inadequate and second-best. BLANK BLANK, you have broken me, and i do not even know how to begin repairing myself. i'm not even sure if i'll ever be whole like i was before you came into the picture. you've stolen a large part of my self and my dignity, i don't think that i'll ever truly get that back.



rumor has it, it's the end of paradise.