keys to the ivy league

if you are just after a girl to be a hookup buddy, then don't talk to her. i don't mean be a mute and communicate only with your penis, but i mean, there are certain types of conversations you shouldn't be having with a girl you just want to fuck. like your past. or your parents. or your high school. or your broken bones. these kind of conversations confuse girls. they confuse them a lot because then the girls don't know if you just want sex or actually want to get to know them. and if you actually want to get to know us, then we think there's a chance you may be interested in us. and then we get all confused because we don't want to just ask you whether or not you like us personally or simply just physically, because asking that could ruin anything that may come out of the relationship on either end. so just skip all the bullshit.
if you want to fuck us, just stick to that.
if you like us, then the stories of your life can start to come out.
don't be sending the wrong signals. it makes life simpler in the end.

but really now. rawr.