keys to the ivy league

and it's okay.
because i knew what i was getting myself into the moment i kissed you.
at that moment, i made a move. i crossed the line between good critical friends and lust-ridden hookups.
and now, i can't go back.
i am in love with you. honest to fucking god.
you've been there for me through everything, and you've heard all of my juicy stories, judged all of my potential and past mates, and you always remind me of my dreams.
i want you around.
but last night. i regret it. i really do.
i may have officially royally fucked up this time. 
this could be the end.
as i said,
this could be the moment i realize that you're no better than those other guys you love to judge for me.
i may realize that you're the same asshole as my last ex.
and that will hurt me.
because i like to think that you're not like that. that you're the epitome of what i want in a man, and that we'll travel the world together, just you and i.
i'm just waiting on you to talk to me.
this was such a mistake.
i know there's no point even in hoping.
due to distance, there's no way we could even officially be together.

but i do want to know how you feel. and i want you to know that i love you. you're the biggest jerk i know and probably the most confusing and intriguing person i've ever met,
and i want you in my life.
you make me think my dreams are possible and i like that the most. <3