keys to the ivy league

Once upon a time, there was a boy.
"I'm not looking for a relationship," said he.
"Long distance isn't for me."
He thought about considering a physical only relationship, but didn't want the tension and pressure of making it formalized.
"Whatever happens, happens," he told the girl.

Once upon a time, there was a girl.
She was silly, young, naive, much like most storybook girls.
Most importantly, she was dumb, or at least her heart was.
You see, she had met the boy in the time of year when the sun sparkles and dances off your hair, and the nights are filled with friends and carefree adventures.
Summertime always carries with it its own magic.
Once she noticed the boy, she couldn't get him out of her head. He was beautiful, funny, confident, rough.
And thus, the girl was transfixed.
Until one magical night when all of that changed.
For the first time, the boy showed an interest in the girl too!
They cuddled, kissed, and...well, you know.
It was mind-blowing,
and the girl was so euphoric that she did not stop smiling for four days!
However, people began asking her questions, which made her wonder, "What now?"
So she asked the boy. "What now, boy? Is there something more, could there be something more, or was it one time?"
The boy provided the answer that we began our little story with.
The girl knew what to expect, knew what his answer would be, but no matter how hard she tried not to get her hopes up, she was still a little sad.
The girl is a dreamer, and she couldn't help but have a little bit of hope that this mysterious tattooed boy was what she was looking for, the prince that would take away all of the hurt from her past, and let her believe in love again.
But she couldn't let any of this show.
Instead, she agreed with the boy. "A relationship would be pointless, you can't plan out hooking up, and let's just go with the flow."
Her heart felt ignored.
But her heart was so dumb!
She knew what she was getting into with this boy! Her heart promised her that it wouldn't become attached, wouldn't start falling for him, that it was simply casual and un-hindered by emotions other than lust.
Her heart's a fucking liar.

Nowadays the boy and girl talk about once a day online. They talk about frivolous things, like work and sickness and alcohol and friends. Really, all the girl's heart wants to do is beg for a chance and tell the boy how amazing he is. The girl can't let the heart do that so she just throws it back into its cage and locks the door. The heart's been there for awhile, but she had recently let it out on account of good behavior. Now she knows that was a mistake. It obviously wasn't ready to come out. Now she just walks past the cage and try to ignore the heart's cries and whimpers. Every now and then she'll get angry and yell back at it, "Get over it! Get over it!"

The girl will see the boy often, as they share the same group of friends. Now, all she can hope for is perhaps one more chance to kiss the boy again. That's all she's asking for. Just one more chance to feel his strong arm around her, his lips brushing hers, his breath against her cheek. Please oh please boy, just give her one more kiss before she goes away forever. She would have came back for you, but now, she just may never return. There's nothing here for her but old painful memories and crushed hopes.

"One last kiss (one last kiss),
Before I go (before I go)
Dry your tears (dry your tears)
It is time, to let you go.
One last kiss."


hold your head high, heavy heart.


someday i'll fly away.


Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where i am
When I finally get it figured out
I've change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself.