keys to the ivy league

i'm returning home fat.
yes, fat.
i wish i could warn you before my arrival.
i know you'll talk about it behind my back.
"guess who gained the freshman FIFTY?!? hahahahahaha!"
but i just wish i could warn you anyways.
so it's not like,
oh hey, WHOA THERE NESSIE.
ugh.

i feel so UGLY RAHRAHRAHRAHRAH.
i wish i didn't have to see anyone until i felt better about my body.
it's literally the only reason why i'm dreading going home.
other than that, i can't wait to come home!

so maybe i'll come home fat.
i'll be joked about and talked about and miserable.
but i'll work on it.
i'll remember how i feel today,
how i felt yesterday,
how i felt a month ago, crying in my dorm room.
and i'll do something about it.
i'll change.
and i won't let it happen again.

i'll come back to harvard healthier, happier, less-alcoholic, and i'll feel good about myself.
and i just have to look forward to that.
if i'm going to have to start my summer life in florida on the wrong foot,
at least i'll be able to start my sophomore year at harvard on a good one.








oh yeah, and my heart? it definitely hasn't fully healed yet. FUCK.